Men Women Jokes - New Years Resolutions

Home • Submit Joke • Search • Top Jokes

Jokes Categories

New Years Resolutions

Grin ( 46 votes ) | Views: 910

PRINT | IM - AWAY MESSAGE

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.

2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.

3. Read less. Makes you think.

4. Watch more TV. You've been missing some good stuff.

5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

6. Stop bringing lunch from home: Eat out more.

7. Get in a whole NEW rut!

8. Spend your summer vacation in Cyberspace.

9. Don't eat cloned meat.

10. Create loose ends.

11. Get more toys.

12. Get further in debt.

13. Don't believe politicians.

14. Break at least one traffic law.

15. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.

16. Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.

17. Associate with even worse business clients.

18. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.

19. Wait around for opportunity.

20. Focus on the faults of others.

21. Mope about faults.

22. Never make New Year's resolutions again.

PREVIOUS JOKE

NEXT JOKE

Share With Friends

Zeebo is the fastest way to find a home in London. Start now! Find a London Property

The Annual Check-Up

After his annual checkup, Bob is shocked to...

men women jokes

A man with an average handicap decides to play a...

men women jokes

Clearly Cheating

Once there was a man with a girlfriend named...

men women jokes

A New Set Of Golf Clubs

''I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife!''...

men women jokes

How can you tell if a man is happy ? Who cares!

men women jokes

Don't Say This During Sex

But everybody looks funny naked! You woke me...

men women jokes

Jack And Jill And Modern Economics

Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck...

men women jokes

What's 6 inches long , 2 inches wide, and thrills...

men women jokes

A man's occupation is to stick his cockulation...

men women jokes

Men Vs. Women: Round 1

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose...

men women jokes