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Oh, God, Help Me Find A Safe House

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There was a young man whose parents beat him all the time, so he went to his next-door neighbor for help.

"What about your grandparent's house?"

"They beat me too."

"What about your aunt and uncle's?"

"They beat me too."

"Well, where do you think you should live?"

"With the Oakland Raiders. They never beat anyone."
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