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* Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?
* If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
* Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
* 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
* Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
* JESUS SAVES . . . They Pass It To Lemieux . . .He Shoots..He..Scores!
* You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT.
* Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
* Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
* My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
* GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.
* I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
* WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
* BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
* So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
* Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
* The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
* IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
* Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
* Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
* Where there's a will...I want to be on it.
* Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
* Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
* Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
* Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.
* Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
* Honk If You Want To See My Finger. |
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The Other Side
Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile...
other jokes
Bad Car Day
A police officer pulled over a driver and...
other jokes
Mirror
Q.What do me and a mirror have in common?...
other jokes
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