Get out a stopwatch and see how fast you can get the manager over to you.
Stare at a neighbor's food until they say something and then reply, "Oh don't mind me, I'm just looking for the piece of food that flew out of my mouth."
Ask the waiter for a fresh fork, then a fresh spoon, then a fresh tablecloth.
Burp the National Anthem, call anyone who objects unpatriotic.
Yell, "Oh no not now!" and make a mad dash to the bathroom.
Make obvious attempts to trip the waiters, snicker constantly.
