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Ode To A Snack That Would Not Fall

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Once upon a workday dreary, my stomach grumbled loud and clearly.

“What's all this? I just ate!” But the noise would not dissipate.

I turned to my left In search of a bite,

One pack of ketchup, some sugar. Not quite.

To my right I then gazed, looking for food,

Not a morsel in sight, Not even something half-chewed.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear?

But two silver quarters, “I'm saved,” I cheered!

I snatched up the change, And dashed down the hall. Soon I would be vending and snacking like all!

As I neared the break-room, I thought of the treats,

Popcorn! Twinkies! Cheese on Wheat!

At last I arrived, and put in my change,

Not knowing at all what the Gods had arranged.

Ho-Ho's! Yes! I had found my snack!

Sitting angelically in that thin spiral rack.

I pressed B, then 14. Then waited with glee

But wait! God no! It simply can't be!

The spiral had whirred, and finally stopped spinning,

But my beautiful Ho-Ho's Were stuck in the rimming!

I pounded once, then twice, and shouted something obscene.

The people, they watched, as I stood there and screamed.

I shook the machine With fury and rage!

Still, the snack would not fall From it's monstrous cage!

I sobbed uncontrollably, still hungry as ever,

I felt like a fool, On a pointless endeavor.

Wretched contraption, '' “How could you?!,” I asked.

So I scratched out a note, and wrote it out fast.

“Dear Snack Man, I BEG YOU, Get rid of this Evil!

It takes all my money, And leaves me quite feeble.

As If I don't have enough stress in my life,

This cursed machine causes nothing but strife!

So take back your Ding-Dongs, your Barbecue Chips,

Your Honey Buns, Packs of Gum and Nachos with Dip.

Look close at this beast and the Evil you cause.

My Ho-Ho, you'll see, is stuck in it's claws!

So Snack Man, I plead I want my change back!

50 cents in small coins And begone with your snacks!

To my desk I returned, feeling empty and sad, But you know, ketchup and sugar really isn't that bad.