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I Enjoy Being A Girl

ROFLMAO ( 1 votes ) | Views: 985

Every day I give thanks to the Goddess:

I have two mounds upon my bodice,

I shave my legs, I sit down to pee,

I can justify any shopping spree.

Not to a barber, but a beauty salon.

Can get a massage without a hard on,

Can balance the checkbook, pump my own gas,

Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.

I always save money by using coupons.

Can admit to others when I am wrong.

Don't drive in circles at any cost,

So I don't have to admit when I am lost.

I don't act like I'm in a timed marathon,

Every time I go to the john.

Listen to me boys,

Those things in your pants that you treat as toys,

You love them more then we ever will,

We would rather suck on a cold pickled dill.

I spend two hours preparing for a date,

Only to find you're two hours late.

I don't watch movies with lots of gore.

Don't need instant replay to remember the... score.

I won't lose my hair.

I don't get jock itch.

And just cause I'm assertive,

Don't call me a bitch.

I don't wear the same underwear every day,

The food in my fridge has no sign of decay.

I don't go to Sears

To look at the tools.

I don't cheat at poker,

I follow the rules.

I don't smoke cigars.

Don't pay for drinks at bars.

I don't punch my friends just to say "Hi."

And it's okay for me to cry.

I know all you men

Think that you're "IT,"

But compared to a woman,

You just ain't SHIT!