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Benefits Of Being Female

LMAO ( 3 votes ) | Views: 551

* We got off the Titanic first.

* We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

* When we buy a vibrator, it's sexy. When men buy a blow-up doll, it's pathetic.

* Our boyfriends' clothes look elfin and gorgeous on us -- guys look like complete idiots in ours.

* We can be groupies.

* Male groupies are stalkers.

* We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

* Taxis stop for us.

* Men die sooner, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

* We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

* Free drinks.

* Free dinners.

* We can hug our friends without wondering if they think we're gay.

* We know the truth about whether size matters.

* New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

* Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.

* It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. * We don't fart to amuse ourselves.

* If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

* We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.

* If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

* We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

* We have the ability to dress ourselves.

* We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

* We have an excuse to be totally cranky at least once a month.

* We can talk to people of the opposite sex without automatically picturing them naked.

* If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

* Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

* There are times when chocolate really can solve all our problems.

* Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.

* We'll never regret piercing our ears.

* We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

* We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.