After the church service, a little boy told the pastor he was going to give him a lot of money when he grew up.



''Well, thank you,'' the pastor replied, ''but why?''



''Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had!''

What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?

The New York Jets!

What do you have if there are 100 rabbits standing in a row and 99 take a step back?



A receding hare line.

What weighs 2,000 pounds and pinches?

An elephant wearing a tight tuxedo!

Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl.

She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.



Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.



"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."

Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.